I came downstairs recently and couldn’t find my robots! They had escaped! I searched everywhere for them: in the cat food bin where they like to steal bits of food; upstairs playing with my son’s Transformers; and out in the garage where they like to pour oil on themselves.
They were gone.
Then I got a call from Valerie White of the Bellefonte Arts Gallery. Were these my robots who broke down her door? Yes, I had to reply, as I imagine other people take better care of their bots and don’t let them sneak away in the dead of night to wreak havoc on commercial property. Could they stay? I quickly asked, before she could launch into a tirade about how they opened her cash register drawer and switched the pennies with the quarters then put on all the bracelets from the display case.
I could tell Valerie wasn’t crazy about keeping my bots, knowing how difficult they are to manage. I had her put them on the phone with me, one by one, and made them promise to behave. They all agreed, maybe a bit too readily. I could tell they really wanted to stay there.
So I just want to apologize in advance to the good people of Bellefonte. If your trash can is upended or your cat’s tail gets pulled or slugs are found in your mailbox, I just want you to know: it’s not my fault. Valerie is in charge now.